Anneriek's Perspective

You've had this fight before. Maybe it was about the dishes. Maybe it was about how they spoke to you in front of their parents. Maybe it was about sex, or money, or who forgot to book the thing. The topic changes. But somehow, it always ends up in the same place. You say your thing. They say their thing. You feel that familiar heat rising in your chest. They get that look on their face—the one you know too well. And before you know it, you're both doing the thing  you always

You've probably heard it before: "It takes 21 days to form a habit." Or maybe you've seen the slightly more generous version: "Give it 30 days and it'll become automatic." It's advice that sounds scientific, feels achievable, and fits perfectly on a motivational Instagram post. There's just one problem: it's not true. What the Science Actually Says Recent research paints a much more realistic—and honestly, more compassionate—picture of how habits actually form. A comprehensiv

Want to know what the most common issue is in relationships? We react to what we think  our partner is thinking. There two important parts to that; the 'what you think they think' part, and the 'reacting' part. React, Protect, Defend Every relationship is two people navigating their fears and needs together. You've got your stuff, they've got theirs, and somehow you're supposed to make it work. Under the surface our fears show up in weird ways – maybe you're terrified of bei

Most couples walk into a therapist's office when a crisis is at hand... When years of resentment have calcified into contempt. When the thought of one more argument feels unbearable. Or perhaps it's the "last chance" before calling it quits. But... What if we treated our relationships like we treat our cars? You don't wait until your car completely breaks down on the highway before taking it to a mechanic, right? You get regular oil changes, tyre rotations, and tune-ups. You

Let me tell you something that breaks my heart and makes me furious: Teenage boys are drowning, and we're telling them to swim harder. They're struggling with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and suicidal thoughts at rates we've never seen before,   and we’re not showing up for them.  We tend to experience them as ‘difficult’—they lock themselves up in their room (or behind computer screens), don’t help out in the house and at best ‘grunt’ when asked a question—and we become

We all dream about it. Freedom. Perhaps for you, it's finally leaving that suffocating job or maybe retirement itself. Maybe it's ending a relationship that's holding you back. Or perhaps it's the fantasy of selling everything and moving to a small coastal town where nobody knows you. We tell ourselves: If only I could change my circumstances, then I'd be free. But here's the paradox that stops most of us in our tracks: We get the new job, and six months later, we feel just a

You know that fight you had last night? The one about the dishes, or being late, or not listening, or spending too much money? Here's the thing: It wasn't actually about any of those things. That fight—the one you've had seventeen variations of in the past month—is about something deeper. And until you understand what's really happening underneath the surface-level conflict, the pattern will likely continue. The Dance You're Stuck In Every couple has a "dance"—a pattern of in

Over years of practice, I've noticed a natural progression that people move through when they're not just healing from their past, but growing into their future. I've come to think of this as four distinct stages, each building on the last. Let me walk you through what I've observed. Stage 1: AWARENESS - Seeing What's Actually Happening The first stage is deceptively simple: noticing. Recognising your pain, your triggers, and acknowledging past traumas. Not analysing. Not fix

Have you ever had that unsettling feeling of déjà vu in your own life? Perhaps you find yourself dating the same type of emotionally unavailable person, just with a different name. Maybe you keep having the same frustrating argument with your partner. Or perhaps you land in another job that feels exciting at first, only to become the same source of burnout and dissatisfaction six months later. Sounds familiar? It's a deeply human experience to find ourselves caught in repetit

What if you're not broken and don't need fixing? What if therapy isn't about "healing" but about growing INTO something more powerful? Let's talk about why this shift in language changes everything. As a therapist, I've noticed a pervasive word saturating social media feeds and self-help rhetoric: " healing ." While the intention is undoubtedly positive, it's a term I've grown a bit weary of. Not because I don't believe in recovery or finding peace, but because "healing" impl