Anneriek's Perspective

You've probably heard it before: "It takes 21 days to form a habit." Or maybe you've seen the slightly more generous version: "Give it 30 days, and it'll become automatic." It's advice that sounds scientific, feels achievable, and fits perfectly on a motivational Instagram post. There's just one problem: it's not true. What the Science Actually Says Recent research paints a much more realistic—and honestly, more compassionate—picture of how habits actually form. A comprehensi

We all dream about it. Freedom. Perhaps for you, it's finally leaving that suffocating job or maybe retirement itself. Maybe it's ending a relationship that's holding you back. Or perhaps it's the fantasy of selling everything and moving to a small coastal town where nobody knows you. We tell ourselves: If only I could change my circumstances, then I'd be free. But here's the paradox that stops most of us in our tracks: We get the new job, and six months later, we feel just a

You know that fight you had last night? The one about the dishes, or being late, or not listening, or spending too much money? Here's the thing: It wasn't actually about any of those things. That fight—the one you've had seventeen variations of in the past month—is about something deeper. And until you understand what's really happening underneath the surface-level conflict, the pattern will likely continue. The Dance You're Stuck In Every couple has a "dance"—a pattern of in

Over years of practice, I've noticed a natural progression that people move through when they're not just healing from their past, but growing into their future. I've come to think of this as four distinct stages, each building on the last. Let me walk you through what I've observed. Stage 1: AWARENESS - Seeing What's Actually Happening The first stage is deceptively simple: noticing. Recognising your pain, your triggers, and acknowledging past traumas. Not analysing. Not fix